UC Essay 7 – Improving School or Community
by Kathleen M.
When you start to think about the UC PIQ 7: What have you done to make your school or community a better place?, focus on the word “better” and a little less on “done.”
What would it mean for you to make a place better? How would you show that you had improved the place?
For example:
I made my softball team into a better place by working to make a program called ‘Secret Teammate.’ I paired up players on both the varsity and junior varsity teams. The players were able to surprise one another with notes to cheer one another on as the team worked through the season and post season. We had a wonderful season and won semi-state.
Revised to show how it’s better:
I worked to make my softball team a better place by building camaraderie between teammates, create a support system during a grueling season, and offer moments of joy for one another. Our softball team had to travel long distances for games, so building a sense of team was important for us. Also, the teammates were able to support one another in order for us to make academic honors as well as success on the field. And the little notes and signs to cheer one another on really brought a smile to all of our faces – especially the ones that included rhymes!
So the second paragraph offers some detail on how the changes made created a better place rather than just stating that it did. Work to offer specific examples and focus on how it makes things better rather than just what is different.
Additionally remember that you can be solving a problem with the change you enact or you can focus on why you were inspired to act. These will lead to different paths.
Consider (as always) how this story works with your other three responses to give a full sense of who you are when you are compiling your UC PIQs!
